Who’s the Daddy?
You’d think this machine Daddy enough without the need to big-up engine downsizing through genuflection to the flat-four racing 718s of the mid-20th century. So has the Boxster gained a pedigree but lost a soul?
Wind in the Hair or Wig in the Willows?
Lift or lower superb hood at up to 40mph in under 10 seconds; weather will never pee on your popsy’s firework. Nor will airflow incite her bangs to lash the Ray-Bans clean off her face.
Shoehorn Squeeze or Horn of Plenty?
Alluring, sharper and tauter carapace a far cry from the original pushmi-pullyu houses classic Porsche interior with lightly breathed on dash and better, 911 touch screen. Superb driving position. Shift paddles untouchably hot after sunbathing.
Kitchen Sink or Kitsch Missing Link?
The former, but it would be good to see a base spec car one day… This specimen notches up over £11,000 in options, of which only £1,922 is the PDK transmission, and £1,025 the sat nav.
Time is a jet Plane; it Moves too Fast…
Alas, gone is the lure of the lycanthrope lurking at peak revs, but four-cylinders a mysteriously better fit here than in the Cayman. PDK a joy in manual override, especially with self-blipping change-downs in Sport mode.
Seat of the Pant or Pants with a Seat?
Still a sublime drive; outstanding agility and grip combined with monstrous brakes and the most fluid, comfortable ride here. Entertainment somewhat shackled by soundtrack unless you ignore noises off and properly nail it at all times.
Verdict
We still love it, but where’s the fun in a jolly good spanking without the reward of the requisite aural returns? Evelyn Glennie would love it more.
CAR WINNER
Who’s the Daddy?
Originally designed to be first a roadster, then a coupe. Successive facelifts may have chiselled away at the Rubenesque purity of the original motorised builder’s bicep, but its popularity remains undiminished. Easy to see why.
Wind in the Hair or Wig in the Willows?
Snug, triple-layer roof removed in 10 seconds at up to 31mph. Hair removed considerably more rapidly unless you opt for £425 retractable wind deflector aft. Roof stowage requirements remove rear seats valid only for taking cat to vet.
Shoehorn Squeeze or Horn of Plenty?
Audi interior quality undiminished as the decades canter by. Location of HVAC controls within air vents the finest interior design step forward in eons, Virtual Cockpit less so, with HMI control now annoyingly less intuitive.
Kitchen Sink or Kitsch Missing Link?
All the gear, and astonishing attention to detail. Where else will you find an auto-dimming driver’s door mirror and a microphone sewn into the seat belt to abet legible phone conversation with the lid off?
Time is a jet Plane; it Moves too Fast…
Feels quicker than the Mercedes despite bald statistics, and gruff engine note sounds far better to boot. Extraordinarily smooth gearshift -the belch of a well fed hippo the only indication of cog swapping.
Seat of the Pant or Pants with a Seat?
Over-firm ride courtesy of S Line set-up, but steers, and sticks, far better than SLC. Pleasingly sharp handling, and so tenacious it’s hard to believe it’s front-wheel drive. Occasional bodywork shiver doesn’t detract from immensely enthralling drive.
Verdict
Entirely practical, and delightfully easy to hustle along surprisingly quickly. A shoe-in if you can’t stretch to a Boxster.
Who’s the Daddy?
Of affordable open-topped motoring…? Unarguably, four generations of MX-5. One SLC or His ‘n’ Hers Mazdas for the same dosh? Only someone with an embonpoint the colour and texture of a button-back Chesterfield would ponder.
Wind in the Hair or Wig in the Willows?
Simple throw-back manual lid, but requires glenohumeral origami to press rigid centre section into locked position. Ditto for roof retrieval. Not as blustery open as the Audi, but a deal of A pillar noise when shut.
Shoehorn Squeeze or Horn of Plenty?
Pretty and petite couture may cause cramping in taller specimens. Cabin nicely finished and seats comfortable, but even this somewhat hastily constructed driver yearns for a couple of extras inches seat travel. A minor ergonomic itch.
Kitchen Sink or Kitsch Missing Link?
Paint the only extra on this price tag. All other toys, including multimedia with DAB radio and navigation, decent connectivity, air-conditioning and even headrest-mounted speakers, thrown in. Optional, kitten-heeled pouting passenger -POA.
Time is a jet Plane; it Moves too Fast…
This entire machine was meticulously engineered around the lesser, 1.5 litre engine; the 2.0 litre unit simply hoicked out of another model. And it shows. Latter unit promotes fractionally more pace but notably less grace.
Seat of the Pant or Pants with a Seat?
The former. In spades. Old fashioned driving in a good, Lotus Elan, way, not a bad, SLC way. Lightweight, beautifully balanced, deliciously poised and pointy. Agile handling as precise and predictable as the rifle-bolt gearchange.
Verdict
A very fine thing indeed, and enormous fun. Spend even less and opt for the beautifully sorted 1.5. Welcome back to teeth, flies.
Who’s the Daddy?
Also known as the SLK with a new hooter and a new name. The former has been around since Moses used one to transport the Ten Commandments back from the top of Mt Sinai, so now longer in the tooth than a walrus.
Wind in the Hair or Wig in the Willows?
All the elegance and advantage of the only all-metal roof here. But it is also a colossal boot space thief, and can only be operated from a standstill, even though, bizarrely, you can move off mid-fold.
Shoehorn Squeeze or Horn of Plenty?
Standard Mercedes fare which, whisper who dares, is starting to look a little dated now. Seats comfortable (natch), and a fine driving position, though the taller occupant may find cabin length a tad restrictive.
Kitchen Sink or Kitsch Missing Link?
Over £10,000 worth of extras bolted to the list price here. The usual raft of ASSISTs -all of which must be turned off before setting out- and TRONICS including SCARFTRONIC, which is pleasingly seductive.
Time is a jet Plane; it Moves too Fast…
Engine not a patch on the V6. Doesn’t sound great and you need to select Sport+ to even vaguely wake the somnambulant gearbox, whereupon power deliver lacks linearity. Tries too hard to sound faster than it is.
Seat of the Pant or Pants with a Seat?
Not much poise or body control; underlying softness with constant nuggety interruptions. Lid off, flops around like a freshly-landed halibut. Lid on, creaks like a galleon in a gale. Steering remote, and far more grip than handling.
Verdict
Looks quite pretty, feels pretty dated. The car you buy for the mistress you don’t really like very much.