Nissan Qashqai

Despite looking like a bucket of smashed crabs, the first, 2006 iteration of the Qashqai -billed as the first ‘crossover’ (if you ignore the Matra Rancho. Which is easily done)- quickly came to litter our roads more profusely than boils on a swineherd’s backside. Well I’m sorry, but I just didn’t get it.

Then I lived with a second-generation variant for six months, and I still didn’t get it. Only when it had gone and I didn’t miss it in the least did it dawn on me that the secret of its success was akin to the kid sitting plumb in the middle of the class who never puts his hand up; without shining in any particular department, it simply never actually did anything wrong.

Raised driving position; tick. Radio 2; tick; ready-to-hand stowage of mobile phone and wet wipes; tick. Engine; tick. Steering wheel; tick… As you can imaging, then, I approached this third generation offering without overmuch of a spring in my step. Oh, and it is worth pointing out that, whilst 15 years ago the Qashqai was a new niche novelty, it now has more than 30 rivals in the C-SUV segment.

Cunningly, despite having been designed, developed and built in the UK, this third generation Qashqai exhibits all the styling hallmarks of (Mazda excluded) a current Japanese automotive product. And that means busy, sharply creased and folded surfacing throughout, bewilderingly elaborate headlamp clusters and an enormous front badge that always smacks of a lack of self-confidence to this jaded eye.

Though 35 mm longer, 32 mm wider and 10 mm higher than its predecessor, Nissan has managed to make the car 60 kg lighter than before, with an impressive 48% increase in torsional stiffness. Let’s hope all that fine work isn’t undone by the fitting of 20” alloys to this top-of-the-range Tekna+ version…

On board, 28 mm of that extra length goes straight to the knee-room department of the rear seating, whilst the loadspace has increased in volume to 504 litres. The clever boot floor origami remains for the securing of errant bags for life, and there’s a reversible, wipe-clean side to the boards for everyday dogs and the more disgusting child. Better still, the rear doors can now be opened up to 85 degrees; a must for mastering child seat belts.

Cabin quality also takes a modest hike, but sensibly eschews today’s increasingly ubiquitous all-touch-screen approach with the retention of dials and buttons for the climate control, volume and a few other essentials. Even the ghastly Lane Keeper is relatively easily killed off via a steering wheel-mounted short cut button. Both the 9.0” infotainment screen and the TFT driver’s instrument binnacle work perfectly well, but the graphics desperately need to be dragged kicking and screaming into this decade.

The driving position gives no cause for complaint, but the front seats have steadily gone backwards in the comfort stakes from the blissful snugness of the first generation offering.

Standard equipment levels strike me as being astonishingly high on this range topping model, and bung aboard everything you’d expect -including electrically adjustable, heated front seats, LED lighting everywhere and a wireless phone charging pad- as well as plenty you might not, such as massage-equipped front seats, a driver’s seat memory linked to keyless entry, and a 10-speaker Bose sound system. Then again, this particular Qashqai is over £10,500 more than the cheapest model on the range.

Under the bonnet, A turbocharged, 156bhp 1.3 litre petrol unit boosted by exceptional mild hybrid input is the only propulsion option for now. Despite the addition of said 12V hybrid system, the Qashqai doesn’t exactly ping off the line, and you’ll have to wait until the turbo comes properly on song before the word ‘brisk’ could in any way be appended to the car’s performance.

Thereafter, mated to a decidedly notchy six-speed manual transmission, the engine does somewhat better than the 1.5 litre diesel offering powering the last Qashqai I drove, which struggled to provide oomph sufficient to overtake on any straight shorter than that required by a departing B52 and, frankly, couldn’t pull a new age traveller off your sister.

Once up to ramming speed, then, the Qashqai’s not a bad place to while away the A34. Despite improvements in dynamic ability, handling agility remains decidedly not its brief. Moreover, the ride quality strikes me as somewhat below par for an entirely family-oriented machine such as this, thumping and bumping at every hint of road surface imperfection. It does settle down at speed, but we are talking motorway, not A road speed here.

So, there we have it. A largely clever, well thought out and practical car for those who aren’t remotely interested in cars.