Citroen C3 Aircross

Time was when Citroen’s unique synergy of design and engineering produced some great cars that, coincidentally, might genuinely be described as quirky. Trouble is, these days all that appears to have survived is the word itself. And in an effort to make its C3 Aircross stand out in the savagely competitive small SUV market, Citroen has deployed it with some vim.

Only in the design department, mind. The front, for instance, has been so rigorously overworked that I’m reminded of Father Ted’s raffle prize Rover following delicate tack hammer-sponsored rectification -there’s no single element that hasn’t been ruthlessly styled to within an inch of its life in the name of quirk.

Remember the ‘squircle’-themed third-generation Fiat Panda; so overburdened with said retro motif that it was something of a surprise to find that the wheels remained entirely round? Well, inside and out, Citroen has gone every inch as much to town here with what we’ll call the ‘rectircle’, even unto a ludicrously untactile gear knob the size of a toddler’s fist.

Such tinkerings aside, the car actually presents as pretty ordinary. Accommodation’s nothing to shout about, particularly the rear seat leg and headroom -fine for children, less so for adults. And what should be a perfectly respectable, gently raised driving position is marred by a lack of support from the front seats in almost every department; a decent sized loadspace is hardly adequate compensation.

Instrumentation and switchgear is something of a mixed bag. The analogue-dominant driver’s instrument binnacle is respectably legible and tidy, but the font and presentation disparity between same and the centre touch-screen reminds me of the hapless Cactus, as do the clunky graphics and tardy operational speed of the screen itself.

All is screwed together reasonably tidily, but the whole -even in lavishly specified, range-topping Shine Plus guise- smacks rather more of cobbled together foible than carefully considered finesse.

Under the bonnet we find the only diesel unit available amongst a choice of three powerplants, the other two being variants of a 1.2 litre turbocharged petrol unit. This 1.5 litre offering does little to reinforce PSA’s reputation for well-wrought diesel hardware; it lacks punch, isn’t particularly smooth, and can be noisy if pushed. Indeed, it takes the predominance of tyre and wind noise as speeds rise to properly muffle it.

A lack of performance is, however, perhaps less significant in this class of car than the difficulties inherent in trying to drive the C3 Aircross smoothly, particularly at low speeds. A gently vague shift makes it hard to wield that outsized gear knob with any alacrity, and both the clutch and accelerator pedal seem hell bent on disguising their true intent from the driver wherever possible.

Never mind, we hear you cry; at least the ride will be comfortable. Well, softly sprung it is, but it also feels somewhat softly damped. Fine around town then, but, as speeds rise, there’s pretty much constant movement from the bodyshell and, consequently, the occupants thereof.

That soft springing also means that the car rolls into bends like a toy dog begging for attention, making the light, uninformative steering even less of a pleasure to use. Most of the Citroen’s rivals have a better controlled ride and a more engaging helm.

So, in the face of fierce competition from the likes of Ford’s Puma, the Skoda Kamiq, the Seat Arona and even VW’s T-Roc the C3 Aircross is just going to have to do it on price, because it certainly isn’t going to edge it in any other department. In which case this top-of-the-range variant is probably not the disease for you.

Shed a few toys and few pounds from the price tag and the Aircross might just become a slightly more alluring proposition. Me? Well, to paraphrase the Beatles, I’ve got nothing to say but it’s OK. Good morning…