MG3 3Style
Tin Can is Onomatopoeic (go on; kick one down the road…)
Not a whiff, here, of the legion graphic pack and wheel whim customisation options which strike us as one of the MG’s stronger selling points. Perhaps metallic grey is the new slack-jawed punter lure?
Styled by a Dog Chewing Play-Doh
Amazing what 60 Longbridge designers can achieve with a Fabia, Punto and Clio cut ‘n’ paste conflagration; in this company the car looks almost alert. Styled in China it would probably look more GM than MG. Oh… Hang on…
Ottoman Ease or Osteopath-Soliciting Origami?
Dreadful, reconstituted stocking-filler plastics quality and a smattering of fabric struggle to sweeten the bitterness of the interior design pill. Lipstick scrawl upholstery motif detracts from acceptable front seat comfort. Surprising space astern.
Just What Does MP3 Stand for Anyway?
Range topping specification includes air-con, Bluetooth, DAB radio and, yes, MP3 compatibility. Shame the execrable stereo panel and steering wheel switchgear design makes it all feel a tad ‘Now Please Wash Your Hands’ to use.
Slow as a Plumber Going for his Tools
1.5 litre lump feels tight and reluctant to pull. At 60mph in 5th, you can bounce your throttle foot up and down as if inflating a Lillo whilst in a foul mood, to no effect whatsoever.
Rolls like a Labrador in Fox Pooh
Actually, in the handling stakes, the MG3 verges on the amusing, despite steering feel of overcooked squid which, bizarrely, weights up as speeds fall. Beyond first-car-fun velocities, however, composure collapses as abruptly as a jilted bride.
Verdict
Almost styled, almost engaging, almost cheap enough. Badly needs a more sophisticated powerplant and, er, a shouty roof graphic.
Suzuki Swift SZ4
Tin Can is Onomatopoeic (go on; kick one down the road…)
Delivery of fun-on-a-budget promise prompted our Car of the Year award in 2005. But can the Swift survive the unsolicited accolade of being the most expensive car here? Never thought we’d say that about a Suzuki in a groupie.
Styled by a Dog Chewing Play-Doh
Appeal probably lies more in the Saab 900-style glazing curves than the ‘Careful with that Ceremonial Scimitar, Eugene’ headlamps, but the third generation Swift is pleasantly proportioned nonetheless, without having to try too hard.
Ottoman Ease or Osteopath-Soliciting Origami?
Plenty of plastic, but still the best quality interior here. Seat comfortable, and only contender with rake and reach steering adjustment, but driving position marred by left leg/centre console spat. Least room astern.
Just What Does MP3 Stand for Anyway?
Top spec’ car with all the toys; gently after-market feel touch-screen, DAB radio, air-con, Bluetooth, electric front and rear windows, keyless go, cruise control, ugly children glass, and the only offering here with sat’ nav’.
Slow as a Plumber Going for his Tools
Well, on paper, yes; with 1.2 litre Dualjet engine focused on headline-grabbing mpg and tax-dodging CO2 rather than jowl-adjusting performance. But the unit’s eager to please and the gear change also encouraging. Rewards stick stirring.
Rolls like a Labrador in Fox Pooh
Nope; dynamically the most appealing machine of the group. Quite firm undercarriage, but well shackled body roll, accurate steering and very nice balance as speeds rise. Old school, brake-free driving required to maintain momentum. Fun.
Verdict
Feels the most grown up machine here in every department, and a lower spec’ Swift can be had for less than £10,000.
CAR WINNER
Dacia Sandero
Tin Can is Onomatopoeic (go on; kick one down the road…)
…An empty one, obviously. ‘TIN.. CAN Tin Can tincantin…’ Renault’s Romanian success, relentlessly billed as the cheapest car in Britain. Even this, um, posh ‘Ambience’ trim level is only just over eight grand.
Styled by a Dog Chewing Play-Doh
Not really styled at all, in truth, other than in an unassuming, non-threatening, Saturday morning showroom ‘That’s-quite-a-large-box-for-not-much-money-isn’t-it-dear?’ way. Roger Buys a Fridge.
Ottoman Ease or Osteopath-Soliciting Origami?
Driving position not bad once gear change-hindering centre arm rest eaten by dog. Seat comfortable in a soggy, gently short-lived fashion, but rear seat bench dominatrix-firm. Less rear seat room that Mirage, but bigger loadspace.
Just What Does MP3 Stand for Anyway?
Dunno; but this Ambience spec’ includes a USB port for it, and Bluetooth, and a CD player with two whole speakers, and a front passenger Jesus handle.. Renault switchgear looks better in a Dacia than in a Renault.
Slow as a Plumber Going for his Tools
Vies with Mirage for eager three-cylinder turbo noises off award. Sandero quicker despite greater weight than Mitsubishi, gear change much better too. Hollow tin can interior promotes healthy meld of road, wind and engine noise.
Rolls like a Labrador in Fox Pooh
Suspension medium tough so less body roll than anticipated. Ride somewhat lumpen, but steering far more connected and meatier than Mirage. Not as prone to understeer as Mirage either. Caution; steering refuses to self-centre. Alarming.
Verdict
A basic car that needs to remain basic so that you can buy it at a stupid price. Or there’s always that second-hand Fiesta…
Mitsubishi Mirage Juro
Tin Can is Onomatopoeic (go on; kick one down the road…)
First facelift since soundly slated 2013 launch version. Front and rear styling makeover, extra equipment, improved sound deadening, extra soft-touch cabin materials and revised suspension. Hope the steering’s better. Fingers crossed.
Styled by a Dog Chewing Play-Doh
By somewhat armed with a chrome lip-gloss pencil, more like… If you ever meet anyone who says ‘WOW; I’ve just got to have me one of those’, take them to the vet to be put down.
Ottoman Ease or Osteopath-Soliciting Origami?
Plastic and piano black interior finish not bad, despite the occasional exposed screw head. Reach only steering adjust but driving position acceptably comfortable, with room for clutch foot. Cavernous rear seating, but diminutive loadspace.
Just What Does MP3 Stand for Anyway?
Heated seats, air-con, toddler wilful auto wipers. Multimedia looks dated but works OK. No USB to be found despite listing in spec’, so successful phone pairing with voice activation at second attempt. Phone charging how?
Slow as a Plumber Going for his Tools
Three pot turns car to bullied blancmange at idle, but fantastically eager to rev. Gear change shoddy; reverse a well kept secret. Soundproofing added, but insufficient to prevent cabin acoustics succumbing to car’s inner can.
Rolls like a Labrador in Fox Pooh
Ride niggly, but experience dominated by extraordinary steering which feels more like a suggestion than a command, occasionally convincing driver the car is toppling off an invisible jack. Dynamics can’t keep up with lusty little powerplant.
Verdict
A model responsible for less than 5% of Mitsubishi’s total UK sales and, despite facelift and modest revisions, still feels like it.